Firstly, just in case, we need to define what an introvert is. Here's one possible definition:
'An introvert is a a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts’.
Basically, you need time to recharge your batteries and reflect on life by yourself, as you can find being around others for too long somewhat stressful.
…but is there even such a thing as an introvert? That's a fair question, any artificial construct always has to be caveated by saying 'although life is never black and white'. That said, it's a reasonable assumption that you'll know what is meant by describing someone as mainly introvert and additionally that introverts may have more challenges when sharing a home with other people.
We all need homes though! And introverts can successfully share buying and living in a property with others and this might be aided by considering some of these tips…!
1 – The Golden Rule – be upfront from the start
As with so many other things in life, honesty and clarity generally saves so much time. When you're considering people you might share with on, for example, Share a Mortgage's platform, you'll obviously be wanting to find out how alike or different from you a person appears. If you think someone might be a good match for sharing, you'll want to find out more.
But you should also pay any potential sharer the service of indicating how you are regarding sociability and how outgoing you are. It may be that some potential buddies are not suited to you. No matter, think of what would have happened if you committed and found out things too late…
So this is the golden rule: be as clear as you can be about what your needs and wishes are from the very start.
2 – Set times for when you have to do things like eat
Introverts can easily be put off from leaving the safety of their rooms if they're not in the mood for company and hear other people in communal areas. This can sometimes mean they postpone things like eating a meal, not ideal not least because they can become 'hangry'!
The best strategy here is set times for the ideal time to do something like eat supper and then stick to this time. You'll benefit from this and get used to it. Additionally you'll most likely find that other people aren't always feeling talkative, particularly after work! And it never hurts to state that you don't feel like talking if that is the case.
3 – Learn what to say if you want to get away
This is as easy as saying something like: "Wow, I didn't realise the time was passing so quickly. I've got a deadline to finish some work/make a call/etc.; I'll pick this up with you again later."
Everyone needs to know how to exit a conversation safely and without causing offence, regardless of how introvert or extrovert you are!
4 – Invest in your room
…by which I mean make your room ideal for you to sit, work, rest and recreate in. If you are going to spend quite a lot of time in it, it makes total sense to make it work for you.
5 – Have an outside 'alone' space
Chances are if you're sharing that anyone you're sharing with will want to bring others back at least occasionally. If you absolutely have to escape from the home, it's nice if you've a quiet space nearby such as a coffee shop to find refuge! That said, it's always worth keeping a tad of sociability with others; it adds possibility to your life!
6 – Organise a gathering, but on YOUR terms
It might strike you as an ordeal to organise a social gathering, but if you set the rules for how the meet's going to be conducted, you can 'set out your stall' and even surprise others with your facets. And the fact that you've given some guidelines is bound to give you confidence.
7 – Learn to say 'no'
Introverts are sometimes prone to extroverts co-opting them into their social lives. This is absolutely fine – if this is a place you wish to go – but you should never feel forced and you shouldn't say 'yes' when you mean 'no'.
Learning to say 'no' is a lesson for everyone in life – it can save a lot of hassle in the long run.
8 – Consider using headphones
Headphones are great for a variety of purposes; they mean, for example, that you can practice that electric piano or guitar without overly aggravating your neighbours. They can also help shut out noise from the outside when you're in your room, making you feel more alone.
You can even use them in company when you want to take some 'time out'. If you do choose to use them in company, however, you should be tactful, because you may be regarded as being rude. Once again, you can help yourself by saying something like: "I hope you don't mind, I'd just like to be undistracted for a few minutes."
9 – Be flexible
This is generally a good way to be in any sort of sharing arrangement. There may, for example, be times when you can be alone in your home…but you may have to get up early in the morning for this, for example.
This is also true regarding times when you don't feel in the mood for company, but circumstances dictate that you have to be 'up for it'. Think about a situation when a close family member unexpectedly knocks on your door; you just have to 'go with the flow'!
10 – Relax!
This is another of the tips which might be applicable to every sharer. The simple fact is that some situations are going to stress you out. You have to develop devices which can help you to relax again.
Think about breathing exercises, visualisation and meditation. Anything which diverts you from a stressful moment and gives your body – and mind – a chance to reset sufficiently.
